Rajcreep Sorefakeeye, our political affairs correspondent, has managed to speak to the General after that dramatic evening which saw Pakistan slip away into more chaos. In this exclsusive interview, Mushraf outlines the reasons behind imposition of emergency.

Rajcreep: What was the need to go in for emergency..?

Mush: Boy, you wouldn’t want to know…some crooks have stolen my pokimon langot. This is an international crisis I tell you…

Rajcreep: who do you suspect is behind this?

Mush: it’s a nexus between the judges of supreme court and the Taliban..They have been planning this for a long time.

Rajcreep: why would they want to do this?

Mush: It’s a long story. You see everytime I used to visit US, some of the Taliban commanders would ask me to ship a consignment of pokimon langot for the their top brass. The agreement that we signed in 2006 in the NWFP province, was based on the assurance that we would supply them these langots on a regular basis. Apparently these langots are quite popular with the Taliban commanders. They also love the Walt Disney shorts. Earlier this year, Jutice chowdary from the supreme court also demanded a bunch of langots from me in exchange for keeping quiet on the uniform issue. I flatly refused, as our langot bill had surpassed our oil bill and was creating a huge trade deficit. So these judges tied up with some disgruntled Taliban elements who were not given such langots to throw me out.

Rajcreep: What’s so special about these langots?

Mush: these are power langots. The wearer is supposed to be gifted with miraculous powers. These langots are also very colorful and change colors with every wash. You see pak army lost so many wars because we didn’t have these langots.  The Taliban and justice chowdary want to display my langots in public so as to tell people that I am powerless now. Imagine how frightened the citizens of Pakistan would be when they come to know that their ruler has lost his langots. The Pakistani cricket team has already expressed fears about their langots.

It’s a really dirty game. I mean that many players are involved and the conspiracy runs deep.

Rajcreep : what’s next?

Mush: we won’t relax till my langots are recovered. We have already rounded up 7 suspects including a ptv journalist. I cant tell you more..