Sheikh Pungee heads the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries or OPEC. This bunch has off late held the entire world to ransom with oil prices touching a record high of $ 150 a barrel. We caught up with the dude in his plush villa in Dubai. Heres the exclusive interview:

RS: Sheikh, what the rationale behind the rising oil prices? How can you arbitrarily increase prices for no rhyme or reason? Are you aware that your activities are leading to inflation-related crises in various parts of the world?

SP: I am aware. But you must understand that its not OPEC that controls oil prices. It’s the speculators who trade them at various exchanges that do the dirty work. As far as inflation is concerned, who knows it better than me? The other day my fifth wife asked me for my platinum card to tank up her 7^th SUV. It is becoming quite difficult to maintain my fleet of 275 vehicles. Infact I am unable to maintain all my 10 wives…

RS: Then why don’t you do something about it? You can stop supplies and force these speculators to toe your line.

SP: We cant. They have threatened to stop buying oil from us. They also told me that they will make us choke on supplies.

RS: This is not a good excuse Mr Pungee. You have the monetary muscle to arm twist these guys into submission.

SP: No I don’t. In fact my wives do all the arm twisting in my family.

RS: You are also pressurizing Russia to decrease its oil supply. What the logic here?

SP: There is a sound logic here. I am positive about that. In fact it is somewhere out there in a corner just waiting to spring up on you. As soon as I find it I will share it with you.

RS: Tomorrow, if the food exporting nations decide to impose a ban on exports to you or increase prices, I am sure your logic will fly out of the window. The other day you were cribbing about not receiving enough cooperation from India and China, can you explain?

SP: I am a good man, you see, infact all my wives agree on this. I have repeatedly told these two countries to cut down on oil consumption. How much can you expect me to do? You folks have to take the initiative implement fuel conservation measures and impose fines on folks who waste fuel. The oil ministers from these two countries had a good laugh when I told them this. They asked me to mind my business and not tell them what to do. In fact they threatened to tell my wives about my other affairs, if I ever tried to preach them again.